DO YOU WANT TO BE TOLD YOU ARE GREAT ALL THE TIME?
OR THE TRUTH SO THAT YOU CAN GROW AND SEE WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK?
This is a question I have come face to face with over the last few weeks.
I have been involved in the personal development and coaching world for a while now and it is typically a positive and uplifting environment.
Recently I have been deep in the acting community, learning the technique of Meisner. It’s quite a different world.
I have had the same teacher since July.
Each time before class I get a sense of anticipation, nervousness and excitement. A highed sense of awareness.
I am rigorous with my preparation for my activity in class, I run it over and over in my mind, making sure, to the best of my ability that it will stack up to the scrutiny of my teacher, that I have done the work.
I sit on the edge of my seat in class, before it is my partner and I’s turn.
You see my teacher is hugely passionate about the acting art form and about teaching it.
When he is in class with us and watching our work he is focused intensely, emotional involved, giving us his all and he expects that from us.
He is not there to be our friend, blow smoke up our ass or be liked by us.
He doesn’t hide the fact when he is frustrated or annoyed or doesn’t like something.
He is there to have us be the best that we can be, to not let us off the hook with anything, to hold us to his extremely high standard.
So that once we are out in the world we stand head and shoulders above others.
At first I resisted it, (and still do a little at times) I wasn’t used to it. I wanted to feel good and positive about my growth.
I was used to hugs and positive encourage and you are great keep going. All the warm fuzzies.
But after examining the resistance and noticing how much it was challenging me I finally chose to stop resisting and embrace this different way of development.
The uncomfortability, the fear, the wanting to run and not turn up to class, the desire to stay in my comfort zone was all there. To even make my teacher wrong.
I realised that for growth to happen I need to hear whats not working, to take the criticism, to have my work picked apart in detail, growth certainly is not comfortable and easy.
I am grateful that someone is taking the time to give me to their energy, their focus and stepping out of their comfort zone to give me the tough feedback.
I see now where in my own life, I can let people off the hook and how it is not serving them, and that is not love at all.
That is me wanting to be liked.
So thank you tough love teachers you are appreciated, I understand it can be hard and lonely sometimes.
If you find someone who is willing to hold you to a high standard thank them.
You can tell the difference between criticism from a place of fear in another person and some tough love.
Anna Trubuhovich - Core Student 2018